Loving | #54

Loving

When we loved
we didn't love right.

The mornings weren't funny
and we lost too much sleep.

I wish we could do it all again,
with clown hats on. 

- Jane Stembridge, from I Play Flute: And Other Poems. I found it via Sonia’s Poem of the Week

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The words and the tone of this poem don’t match. The tone is serious — an accusation, maybe, or a condemnation. It’s spare, three sentences with no wordplay or descriptive language. Barely any punctuation.

But clown hats! Clown hats are silly, superfluous, absurd. No one wearing a clown hat is worried about doing something “right” or losing too much sleep. There’s a gap between what this poem longs for and what it is. It’s dreaming about clown hats, but it’s still not wearing one.

I empathize. How much time have I spent imagining a person I might be — or might have been — without actually putting the clown hat on?

I first read this poem was as a call to take myself less seriously. I still read it that way, but now I also see a call to do the damn thing. Stop holding back. Don’t let the life you don’t want become so familiar that you can’t find your way out of it.

In other words, have a good time. And start right now.

Funny mornings,

Jess